Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
