No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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