I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
