...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he fucked my hip out of place.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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