My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
