Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
