SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
