Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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