I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
