I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it because I queefed?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
