Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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