so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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