is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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