I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
