I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
