So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I understand Curling. That high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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