well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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