It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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