Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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