he shaved USA in his pubs
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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