I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
