What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
