I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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