My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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