Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize