Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
