just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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