look no pants
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
