Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
