The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
