I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
ok first of all what the fuck
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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