What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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