he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
