Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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