it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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