Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
