lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's never too late to be topless.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
