I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
