is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
