Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
