Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
