your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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