i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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