I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
