and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
