I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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