Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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