apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
