I wannas sexs uuuuu
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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