Screwed.edu
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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