I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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