Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
