i permit you to call me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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