I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Drunk is not a location!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
