you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
