He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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