piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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