So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
