Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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