Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize